such a shame

do you see the circles around my eyes? i wasn't running too long but the road was alive and the cold air made it angry and i was swallowed but the gravel set me free when the time seemed right.

i wish you would tie me up outside your door and i will beat on the floor until my knuckles are scraped and bleeding. don't you remember when we walked along the sidewalks? you were covered in winter then. now i suppose you are cluttered in the middle of an apartment. every once in a while you reach down into your pocket but you don't know why. you see the clocks all around you. they steer you around from place to place until you are drastic and empty and you know you aren't home. you know you shouldn't be where you are. those are the ghosts that blow softly on your skin as you go off sleeping.

the notebook

"I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

- Nicholas Sparks, "The Notebook"

desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste.
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let not this blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for on the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass,
Take kindly to counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune,
But do not distress yourself with imaginings,
many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees or stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive him to be,
And whatever your labours and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful, strive to be happy.

with your ghost

i like to think of you as the ghost that walked along the sidewalks downtown without anyone else. i watch your shadow as if it were like the wings of an airplane cast out across my backyard.

you used to tell me that i belonged on the railroad. we would sit on the tracks that wrapped around the bottom of the afternoon sky. i wanted to tie the stones around your neck and watch you dance with the rust flying in your face like glitter.

you never went back home.

i hope you aren't cold. i hope all the blue sinks down inside of you and that you run your fingers and scratch along the skin of love.